Monday, September 30, 2013

PF Changs Lettuce Wraps: the 'F' stands for "Faux"

Like I said before, I've been on this huge ground beef kick. Regardless, I have a shit ton of asian cuisine staples thanks to my forays into stir fry and my one failed attempt at making sushi (don't ask - it was almost as bad as my French toast). I drew inspiration for these from Skinny Kitchen's Chicken version of these, but basically used what I have in my pantry and vegetables that I didn't want to go to waste. They were awesomely delicious and Chuckles surprisingly didn't bitch about the vegetables after he stopped complaining long enough to take a bite.


  • 1 lb. ground beef
  • 1/2 cup soy sauce
  • 3 tablespoons hoisin sauce
  • 1 teaspoon sesame oil
  • 1 head of lettuce (we used iceburg because it was cheap and on sale)
  • 1 head of garlic, roughly chopped
  • 1 bag of baby carrots, chopped into small-ish "discs"
  • handful of green onions (I have some sitting on a windowsill in our kitchen and they seem to grow out of control once per week, so I always have to devise some way to use them up)
  • a squirt or five of Sriracha
  • handful of sliced mushrooms


  • Throw the ground beef in a pan with all of the veggies except for the green onions until the ground beef is browned/crumbles and the veggies are softened. Drain and return to the pan.
  • Add all the other ingredients and add Sriracha to taste. Mix well.
  • Spoon mixture into a leaf of lettuce, wrap, and shove in your face. Mmmm mmmm good.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Beef "Stroganoff" Over Broccoli

For some reason, I've recently been on a ground beef kick and have been having horrifying cravings for the Hamburger Helper Stroganoff. When I used to make that, I'd add a ridiculous amount of ground beef and canned mushrooms and it was generally a satisfying, greasy, salty, mushy mess. Needless to say, I'm not about to let these crazy cravings fuck me up! Besides... I think we both know I'd just end up feeling like crap after eating it and basically lie on the couch the rest of the day, watching an inordinate amount of Netflix, wishing I could just rip my stomach out. The point of this long, horribly rambling post is that I made a simple, easy alternative so I could get over my Hamburger Helper craving. And let me tell you... it was the most satisfying thing I've eaten in months.


  • 2 lb. ground beef 
  • 2 bags PictSweet Steamables broccoli 
  • 2 onions, chopped 
  • 2- 4 oz. cans mushrooms, drained & rinsed twice to get rid of all the salt they throw in there
  • 1 block cream cheese, cubed (so it will melt more quickly) 
  • 1 can cream of chicken soup (I'd normally make my own, but the key here is simplicity)
  • Brown ground beef with chopped onions, then drain & return to pot. 
  • Steam broccoli in microwave to desired crispness
  • Throw brick of cream cheese and can of cream of chicken soup into pot and stir every now and then until the cream cheese is melted. 
  • Add mushrooms and mix well. 
  • Serve the "stroganoff" over the broccoli florets. 
314 calories per serving and 6.1g net carbs.